I can’t lie, every time I hear someone talk about starting over in some large or small way, I smile and sigh at the thought of their journey through this new beginning. Every new beginning starts at square one, this is how we got the phrase, “back to square one”. This journey back to square one can be as small starting a new relationship with a client or as big as launching a new business. Whether you chose your square one event such as taking a new job across the country or it chose you in the case of losing your job, square one is a catalytic change of some sort where there was a before and after and you and your life are forever changed., but don’t worry we all find our footing after a square one event.
My square one moment happened at the beginning of a global pandemic. As a matter of fact the pandemic shutdown might have been the biggest square one event in recent modern history. Life for all of us changed in many ways, big and small, good and bad. At the time, I owned a construction company with my husband and we were a network, referral based business. Much of what I did was in person networking and marketing. Then it all stopped, we stopped meeting in person, driving and flying places and it was kinda spooky how quiet the world got for a moment, as we waited to see what next. Next was the resistance, there is always resistance in square one, it’s human nature to resist slowing down and going inward. We want to rail against what is when this happens, we can all remember what that felt like in the early days of the global pandemic. However the strangest thing happened in that global shut down. I didn’t resist, I embraced, I reveled and I exhaled. I gave myself permission to do nothing and as a matter of fact, I decided that my new job was meditation and writing. Not much came of my writing yet but the meditation or going inward changed my life. I had been working with various coaches for years but now in that slow, calm, quiet, I realized that my path was as a coach. I wanted to help other business owners realize that there was more out there, more freedom, more time, energy and joy in their life when we stop resisting.
As much as we all love new beginnings in the movies, the reality is that they are usually a pain in the ass. There is no right time for your square one event but change is coming yet again and so is the resistance. My teacher Martha Beck, loves the life cycle metaphor of the butterfly to describe each stage of the life cycle. Square one is the caterpillar. Square two is the cocoon, Square three emergence from the cocoon and square 4 is the butterfly in all of her glory. Yes, all butterflies are female, just kidding. Back to the caterpillar, or square one, the caterpillar. Caterpillar’s are the earth bound incarnation of the butterfly’s life cycle. It’s basically crawling and square one is back to crawling and slowing down until we learn how to embody the change. Think of the new business that you’ve been building. It’s such a celebration when you first launch but now you have months and perhaps years of learning the ropes of your new business and it feels like you are crawling where before you use to fly. Don’t worry you will get back on track but it will take time.
When starting a new business there are so many square one moments that it can feel like a scramble, like everything needs to be done at once or yesterday. Yet we all know we can only really do a few things at a time. Square one is about accepting that you have to crawl before you can fly. It’s about slowing down and going inward, laying a strong and powerful foundation to build your business from. This won’t feel intuitive to slow down, you will want to speed up and do everything at once. As a business empowerment coach I teach my clients to tap into their inner compass and choose what feels like the first, best and most important place to start building their business from. It is often unintuitive by conventional business practices and that is ok because the right way is your way. A powerful square one is about learning to trust yourself and no one else more than yourself. Everyone is going to have well meaning advice for you and your business but it is usually a time distraction, because the right way is your way and when you truly deeply trust what your inner compass is telling you. You will move into square two dreaming and creating. I will talk about square two, Dreaming and Creating which is my favorite square in the change cycle next post.